The Hot Zone
magicmorgan said: Where did the idea that losing your virginity is not supposed to hurt originate? I was not told that it would hurt prior to losing my virginity but it was a painful experience for me. Later I learned that it is typical for women to experience pain when having sex for the first time. Now I am reading on the internet that this should not be the case, but I don't know if I've heard that from any actual reliable sex educators. Where is this information coming from?
@3 hours ago with 37 notes
I assume that when you say you’re hearing this on the internet, you’re referring to this article that we reposted earlier today from our sister blog, Spicy Gear. The article is mainly about why the myth of virginity is harmful to women, and presents some very real facts and statistics about women having sex for the first time. In fact, it mostly deals with the social implications of the idea of virginity, not with a typical first experience. Why? Because there is no typical first experience.
The statistics tell us that 63% of women DON’T experience any discomfort. But is it uncommon for women to have pain? No, definitely not. By that statistic, 37% of women do feel pain. That’s a lot of women! No one is trying to say that this makes you weird or odd. We’re actually just trying to dissuade another myth.
That article was written in response to a myth that many of us grew up with: women have been told having sex their first time would be incredibly painful. And if it wasn’t painful for you, there was something wrong—either it wasn’t truthfully your first time having sex, or your vagina was too loose, an undesirable quality. The fact is, that myth was started to keep women from having sex until they were married, essentially using fear to control what women do with their bodies.
And Spicy Gear isn’t the first place to write about this. Check out this article by Scarleteen— a very reliable source for sex education. Or this one by a doctor at About.com Or this one from the International Women’s Health Organization.
There’s also a great book about the concept of virginity and purity called The Purity Myth by Jessica Valenti that talks more about why the idea of virginity harms young women. Check it out!
If having sex for the first time was painful to you, it could be for a lot of different reasons. You could have a very tight hymen. You may not have been sufficiently lubricated, or, if your partner was inexperienced, they could have hurt you by accident. The article mentions all of these things— and all of them are very common problems that get fixed with experience.
The truth is, there are many different ways to have sex for the first time. And everyone has a different experience. We’re sorry to hear that yours was very painful, and we hope things will get easier for you in the future if you decide to continue having sex.
Came home from watching Sharknado (both of them, one after the other, it was quite an experience) and found the stray cat we’ve been feeding sitting on our driveway, meowing. He came up to me and I ended up sitting and petting him for like twenty minutes. Then my mom and sister (confused from hearing the garage door go up but then not seeing or hearing me come in) came out and lured him inside where he walked around, meowed, rubbed his head on a catnip sachet, and went back outside where he meowed some more. Mom realized he was hungry and gave him a tin of cat food which he promptly inhaled, after which he scooted out into the garage to sit under the car.
All this between 1am and now. I think we have a new cat.@17 hours ago with 3 notes
listen when guys layer shirts like this
that’s actually all it takes once that happens i don’t even need to hear him speak i don’t care what kind of music he likes or how he feels about obama or how many potential stds he has just give me that shirt on a guy and the next scene in our lives will be a wedding i am the definition of easy i just need some layered fabrics
I did this once and it was the only time a girl ever complimented me on my outfit
(via abitcreepy)@3 hours ago with 165772 notes
There’s something particularly elusive about bisexual male characters. There is a deeply ingrained misconception that a man can’t be romantically involved with another man and still be interested in women as well. It’s centered on the idea that masculinity requires a wanting, and “getting” of women, and not men. But the depiction of Constantine in Hellblazer proves that is a false assumption.
Despite what the producers of the show appear to think about the importance of the character’s sexuality, in the comics it gives Constantine’s character depth, develops his story line, and frankly, makes him more than just another non-descript straight, white male. Media representation of minority groups is incredibly important. Fiction or not, media portrayals of minority groups help the general public acknowledge, relate to, and humanize a group they might not interact with in their day-to-day lives. It helps young bi youth see themselves on television; it helps people understand that us bi guys are really not that different, and sometimes, even if just in comic books, it helps us see that you don’t have to be straight to kick (demon) ass."