Sept. 19 12:25 pm -
If more men spoke up before, during, or after incidents of verbal, physical, or sexual abuse by their peers, they would help to create a climate where the abuse of women—emotional, physical, sexual—would be stigmatized and seen as incompatible with male group norms. That is, a man who engaged in such behavior would lose status among his male peers and forfeit the approval of older males.
Ultimately, this would cause a shift in male culture such that some men’s sexist abuse of women and girls would be regarded—by other men—not only as distasteful but as utterly unacceptable. In this new climate, individuals would be strongly discouraged from acting out in abusive ways because of the anticipated negative consequences: loss of respect, friends, and status, and greater likelihood of facing both legal and non-legal sanctions.
In fact, if men’s violence against women truly carried a significant stigma in male culture, it is possible that most incidents of sexist abuse would never happen. This is because contrary to popular myth, the vast majority of boys and men who assault, harass, and bully girls and women are not sociopaths. They are average guys. Many of them see the sexist treatment of women as normal. — Jackson Katz, Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men Can Help (via wretchedoftheearth)
*upper middle class fucker voice* But you have [one nice thing] so how are you poor
Some years ago, a good friend of mine got denied benefits— I think it was food stamps— because she had a car. Not an expensive or fancy car, but still a car. It was considered an asset, so she wasn’t poor enough.
Without the car, she would have no way to get to her job. Y’know, that thing you think people are just lazy if they don’t have one? She would have no way to get her kid to school and/or daycare so that she could work. She would have no way to go and get food. Some cities have public transit. Some don’t.
And let’s say she sells the car. Gets a few thousand for it. Ten thousand, at the outside; it was an old used car. That pays rent and buys food for… how long, do you suppose? Anyone out there living high on the hog at ten thousand dollars a year? Let’s say she got twenty thousand! That’s still a one-time sum. What’s she supposed to do when that runs out? I guess live on the assistance that she now qualifies for, which doesn’t actually cover all the living expenses, which is why she needed the job that she needed that car to get to.
Our system is designed to trap people in poverty and keep them there— and then punish them for needing the benefits that we required them to become “poor enough” to “deserve”.
Evening on the North Shore
Clarence Gagnon - 1924
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